


Forgive me

by SelenaRogue



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Human Trafficking, M/M, Minor Character Death, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 19:52:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18556672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelenaRogue/pseuds/SelenaRogue
Summary: Has to do with human trafficking and past abuse.If you are sensitive to the topic DO NOT READ!!!!





	Forgive me

**Author's Note:**

> If this sounds familiar to any of you it’s because I originally wrote this as an Okane ga nai fanfiction but thought I’d modify it to fit the Finder Series.  
> I hope you like it.
> 
> (Not Beta read. Sorry for any mistakes.)

_The blade plunges into my father’s chest. Stab after stab, the blood splashes onto my face. I want to scream. Not out of terror or fear... but victory_

 

_He strikes my mother again. Her naked body left bleeding._

 

_“Come on you whore! You are supposed to be making me money! If he tells you to suck his dick, you suck his dick!”_

 

_She cries._

 

_It’s always like this_

 

 **_He’s_ ** _always like this._

 

_My father turns to me, “Maybe I can make money off of him!”_

 

_“No!” My mother pleads, “He’s only four!”_

 

_“Exactly, he should make me plenty.”_

 

_My father reaches out and grabs onto my hair._

 

_I cry out in pain._

 

_I’m scared! I want to be with my mother. I want to be held by her._

 

_She shouts out again._

 

_“Please! I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I’ll work more! Please don’t let those men rape him!”_

 

_My father seems to stop and think. He’s looking at me. A smile creeps onto his chapped lips._

 

_“Alright then,” He shoves me towards her, “If you don't want **them** to have sex with him then **you** can have sex with him. I’ll get money letting them watch you two.” _

 

_My mother’s gaze falls to the floor. She slowly lets it turn to me. Tears flow down her red, bruised cheeks. I'm tired of seeing that image. Every day it's all I see._

 

_She crawls, on her hands and knees, closer to me._

 

_"Mother?"_

 

_Her eyes look duller than normal._

 

_"It's going to be okay sweetheart," her voice failed to sound convincing, "E-very...thing w...ill be... fine." She gasped for air between sobs._

 

_She places her hands on my malnourished cheeks._

 

_"Mother?" I ask again._

 

_Her face contorts into a mix of pain, self-hate, and agony._

 

_"I... I can't do-"_

 

_She was cut off by a metal pipe to the head._

 

_"Mother!" I find myself crying out._

 

_I see my father pull a knife from his pocket. He advances towards her._

 

_Her eyes widen. She pleads, shouting out her apologies._

 

_The knife rises in the air._

 

_No!_

 

_It cuts down._

 

_Please make it stop!_

 

_My mother cries out as the blade enters her left breast._

 

_Her body ceases to move._

 

_The knife is discarded in her chest._

 

_The blood trickles over her skin._

 

_Mother?_

 

_"There. That bitch wasn't paying her way. I spent more on her than what I was getting."_

 

_He turns his back to me._

 

_I creep over to my mother's still warm body._

 

_She looks peaceful... almost relaxed._

 

_I pull the knife from her flesh. The handle was red with blood._

 

_It feels nice. Almost as if it belongs in my hand._

 

_"Hey, brat!" My father interrupts my thought, "Drop the knife!"_

 

_I only look at him._

 

_"Didn't you hear me you little shit? Put. Down. The knife."_

 

_My grip only tightens. He sees I'm not going to drop it._

 

_He approaches, grabbing my arm._

 

_I push the knife up into the air. It slides across his stomach._

 

_"AHHH, Fuck! You little-"_

 

_I take the knife and thrust it into his intestines._

 

_He falls. His own blood stains the metal blade._

 

_I lose control over my own body._

 

_The thrill, the sounds, the feelings._

 

_Everything is amazing._

 

_The blade plunges into my father’s chest. Stab after stab, the blood splashes onto my face. I want to scream. Not out of terror or fear... but victory_

 

_I hear a voice calling to me._

 

_It's calming._

 

_"As... Asam... Asami. Are you alright?"_

 

I open my eyes, "Akihito?"

"Asami! You okay? You were talking in your sleep. You seemed distraught.”

I sit up, "It was only a nightmare. Nothing more than that.”

If only I wasn't lying through my teeth.

"Okay?" Of course he didn't seem convinced," Do you want me to make you some tea? It will wake you up."

"Yeah… tea would be good."

What would my mother think of me now? The first time me and Akihito had sex it was rape. It was just as my father did to her.

Akihito gets up to leave the bedroom before stopping at the entrance.

"Before I forget, Glasses guy’s here."

Then he disappears down the hall. His soft steps fade to nothing and I’m yet again left alone.

With effort, I push myself off the bed and make my way to the living room.

As Akihito said, Kirishima is here.

“Asami-sama, sorry for the disruption on you day off,” He notices my expression, “Is something troubling you, Sir?”

“It's nothing.”

“Like hell ‘nothing’! Come on, what’s on your mind.” Just like a switch Kirishima goes from being my loyal subordinate to my close friend. I flash him an irritated glare but it does nothing to deter him.

“I… had a nightmare… about my life before.”

“Oh, you mean before me and Suoh found you wondering the streets.”

“Yeah… The night I killed my father.”

I look away not letting him see my face.

I feel a hand on my shoulder.

“That man is gone now. We wiped out the sex trafficking long ago.”

“That isn’t what’s bothering me!” I slapping his hand away, ”It’s Akihito! I did the same thing to him multiple times. Yet he continues to smile at me.”

“That is something you need to talk to him about. Honestly, the boy seems to have put that behind him.” Kirishima picks up his coat and walks to the door. “Our conversation can wait till a later date. I’ll take my leave.” With that, he left.

“Asami?” I look over to see Akihito with a tray of tea.

“Akihito, would you like to… come with me to visit my mother’s grave?”

“Her grave?”

“It’s been long overdue. I’d be pleased if you would join me.”

He nods, “I’ll come with you.”

“Good. We’ll leave at noon.”

* * *

We park the car a few blocks from the cemetery. I filled Akihito in on what happened to my mother and it obviously upset him. He did showed his sympathy by resting his head on my shoulder. I could feel what I think were tear drops falling on my shirt. Could it be that he doesn't want to think about me being hurt? Or the ones I love hurt.

“I need to pick up some flowers. There’s a shop just down the road.” I hear Akihito chuckle, “What? It would seem disrespectful not to take something.”

“Sorry,’ He laughs, “I just can’t see you walking into a flower shop. It’s so uncharacteristic of you.”

He climbed out of the limo. I follow shortly after.

We walk down the street before the smell of flowers became overwhelming. The outside of the large shop had vases filled with vibrant colored flowers. It was almost _too_ colorful. I hold the door open for Akihito and he says a little, “Thank you.”

“Hello, gentlemen. Anything, in particular, you’re look’n to buy?” We turn to see a teenage boy standing behind the counter.

“We’ll just be looking around a bit,” Akihito responds kindly.

“Alright, let me know if you two need any help.” He responds with a smile.

Akihito looks at me, “Is there anything your mother particularly liked?”

“Well...”

 _‘Look Ryuichi, aren’t those flowers lovely?’_ My mother had once pointed to a vase of pink and red carnations that had been sitting on a table. They had made her smile.

“...She liked carnations. The red and pink ones.”

“I’m sure we can find something like that around here.”

* * *

We walk out of the shop with a bouquet of carnations. It had a few ferns here and there accompanied by small white flowers. A little red bow was also tied around the stems.

“They look really beautiful, “Akihito pointed out, “They were a good choice.”

“I think they were too,” I reply, “I’m glad you came with me Akihito. I haven’t visited my mother since the day she was killed. I was always afraid too.”

“Afraid? The Great Asami Ryuichi is afraid to visit his mother’s grave?” He teased. “Why?”

“Because I couldn’t save her in time. If I had done things sooner she might still be here. I always wondered what she thought when she saw my father holding the knife. If she wanted me to help her or not.”

“Asami, she would have wanted you safe. If you acted sooner you might not be here.”

I can only smile at him as we walk into the cemetery.

It feels weird being here. Everything is as it was the day of her burial. It doesn't take long to get to the grave. Her blank tombstone sits at the top of a small hill. It was grey with a panther resting in a tree. She had told me her favorite animal was the panther. They were strong and powerful but at the same time gentle and playful.

“Why isn't her name on it?” Akihito looks up to me.

“Because I don't know it. I always called her ‘Mother’, nothing more than that. I didn’t have the resources to find out either.”

“Oh.” Akihito’s voice is quiet and saddened.

I place the flowers on her grave. My eyes look to the sky. It turns dark with clouds. It looked as though it would rain any second. That's when I saw little water droplets fall onto the headstone.

“We better get going before we get stuck in a downpour. Come on. We'll visit another time.”

“Y-Yes I guess that would be best.”

I put my hand on around his waist and we begin to leave.

 

“ _I love you, my son._ ”

 

I stop.

“Did you hear something?” I ask.

“No. What did it sound like?”

“...nothing. Never mind.”

We continue out of the cemetery and back home.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave comments on what you think.  
> Constructive criticism is always welcome.


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